Ask The Camp Nurse |
Ask The Camp Nurse: Nurse Candy
MyCampFriends.com is proud to welcome back Nurse Candy for her second full summer as the resident camp nurse. Good news: this summer, Nurse Candy is 97% sober, so those occasional "used needle accidents" from a year ago are officially a thing of the past! (Great thanks to our friends at the ACA for letting that slide. Hey, no one died, right?)
Nurse Candy is here to answer any of your questions, the best of which will be posted right here for all of camp to see. Feel free to ask her anything - how to get rid of that pesky rash, the best way to weasel your way out of swimming in the lake, who to draft on your fantasy team...anything at all.
Just one thing, kids. Nurse Candy may be hot and a recent divorcee, but she's strictly off limits. So don't get any funny ideas just because the infirmary has a couch and soft lighting. You'll have your own Nurse Candy when you're older.
Got a question? Submit it in the box at the bottom of this page, and check back here for her response! In the meantime here are some recent questions and answers from fellow MyCampFriends.com users:
Q: What if no one will dance with me at the all-camp dance this weekend? - Jonah L.
Nurse Candy Says: Jonah, you don't want to go to that dance. Those girls at your camp are awfully frigid. Have you ever heard Foreigner's classic "Cold As Ice"? That's exactly what the girls at your camp are. You'd be better off grabbing a flashlight, stealing one of your counselor's dirty magazines, and hiding out in your sleeping bag. Alone. Just don't mention that to your parents on visiting weekend.
Q: This one girl in my cabin plays the soundtrack to "Rent" every night and we all hate it. We hate her too, actually. What should we do, Nurse Candy? - Jennifer S.
Nurse Candy Says: Jennifer, camp is all about accepting everyone around you for who they are. People with interests different from yours should be treated with the same respect you'd like to be treated with.
Unless that person owns the soundtrack to "Rent". I'd personally take her iPod and threaten to toss it into the lake if she doesn't stop playing that crap. Five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes, Nurse Candy's butt.
Q: Did you like the new Indiana Jones movie? - (no name)
Nurse Candy Says: Not big enough to use your own name, huh? Now that's cowardly, not unlike my ex husband. That lying, cheating, miserable excuse for a man. All of my friends warned me about him. "Hes a player", they all said. "He's gonna hurt you". "He's got a wooden leg". Blah, blah, blah. They were absoutely right. He's a dog, and I wouldn't wish him on any woman anywhere. It's times like these when Nurse Candy could use a drink, you know? This camp had better have a friends of Bill W. meeting or I'm gonnna lose my damn mind.
Oh, the "Crystal Skull" movie? It sucked.
Nurse Candy Says: Jonah, you don't want to go to that dance. Those girls at your camp are awfully frigid. Have you ever heard Foreigner's classic "Cold As Ice"? That's exactly what the girls at your camp are. You'd be better off grabbing a flashlight, stealing one of your counselor's dirty magazines, and hiding out in your sleeping bag. Alone. Just don't mention that to your parents on visiting weekend.
Q: This one girl in my cabin plays the soundtrack to "Rent" every night and we all hate it. We hate her too, actually. What should we do, Nurse Candy? - Jennifer S.
Nurse Candy Says: Jennifer, camp is all about accepting everyone around you for who they are. People with interests different from yours should be treated with the same respect you'd like to be treated with.
Unless that person owns the soundtrack to "Rent". I'd personally take her iPod and threaten to toss it into the lake if she doesn't stop playing that crap. Five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes, Nurse Candy's butt.
Q: Did you like the new Indiana Jones movie? - (no name)
Nurse Candy Says: Not big enough to use your own name, huh? Now that's cowardly, not unlike my ex husband. That lying, cheating, miserable excuse for a man. All of my friends warned me about him. "Hes a player", they all said. "He's gonna hurt you". "He's got a wooden leg". Blah, blah, blah. They were absoutely right. He's a dog, and I wouldn't wish him on any woman anywhere. It's times like these when Nurse Candy could use a drink, you know? This camp had better have a friends of Bill W. meeting or I'm gonnna lose my damn mind.
Oh, the "Crystal Skull" movie? It sucked.
ASK YOUR QUESTION TO NURSE CANDY HERE: